Behold a man who “used” his head.

 

“I am under command to be strong and brave.”

 

There was a time when I thought I should be strong and brave for my own sake.

 

I thought I had the option to either be a brave or a coward. I fought a lot of fights in the streets, I was afraid to lose so I used my massive head as a spear on the face of my opponents and my fights were bloody but very short.

(With great shame and sadness, I confess not to be proud of those fights.)

 

It was very hard to convince myself and those opponents that I was not afraid even though internally I was scared to lose and afraid to be perceived as weak and cowardly.

 

I sympathized with terrorists and became a regular “Terrorist” myself provoking fear in others weaker than myself to control them. It could be said that I was a sophisticated bully who justified my actions with a fiber of truth in it and a lot of hot air behind it, deceiving others and myself, trying to convince others and myself of being what I was not.

 

Things have changed since I had a heart-to-heart confrontation with Jesus. I saw in Jesus a true strong and brave man who was not afraid of anyone including the world, the flesh and the devil. Jesus took over the bastion of my mind where the impostor messiah sat in the throne of my life and made me a free man, free to be what I really was supposed to be.

“Remember, I commanded you to be strong and brave. Don’t be afraid, because the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

 

False bravery is faked strength because God is absent wherever one goes.

Beautiful Jesus would’ve never commanded me to do something that I could have not accomplished because his commands are not based on my weakness but on his Strength. His being with me is now the reason that I am able to obey the command to be strong and brave, that is with Emmanuel, God with us, God within us, God around us, God above us, God underneath us, as Jesus in me is the hope of glory.

 

Now you know the rest of the story. True strength and bravery is not from within but from above, from Jesus with you. I still think I am a Chihuahua that behaves like a Great Dane all because of Jesus who is the captain of our salvation to whom all glory and honor belongs forever and ever amen.

 

Gerry Gutierrez.

 

PS. I have not fought a “good fistfight since 1972,” that is about 51 years ago and I feel for the first time in my life strong and brave. To me victory is to overcome the temptation to fight, which is true bravery and true strength and I thank Jesus for that.

Pictures are of my Mother, my older sister and kid brother and High School years, playing Tarzan, and as track driver. And the girl who made me shave from my "Che Gutierrez" years.  The last photo is as Brigadier General of a Pre-military School.