Sinking and thinking.

Why does it move?

I am not being harmed, but then why am I hurting?

Following Jesus is the best thing that ever happened to me.

It’s been like a journey in a forest following someone going three days ahead of you leaving pieces of paper and other signals as signs that he has been there marking the path. That makes me feel secure that I am on the right path of the master and I am on my way to heaven.

Lately my eyesight is no longer as good as it used to be and I do not see the little papers as easily and as fast as I used to when I was young. My hurts and pains take turns to return again and again so that my knees are too weak to keep me standing, let alone walking.

I am surprised that someone like me who never broke a bone or was in a hospital bed can become so fragile and weak and dependent. It is very humiliating indeed but very revealing as my faith is becoming visible and I clearly see what otherwise I would have never seen. Yes, I trust and believe but I am still hurting.

It seems as if I am going backwards in my growth all the way to childhood where I used to depend on everyone to survive. I have a new appreciation for mother figures as well as pastors who lead by the hand and not just point out what I must do or stop doing.

By the way, if you find my letters annoying and sometimes full of innuendos and indirectness, please give me the benefit of the doubt and retain that which is good and throw away the rest because a man in pain does not think clearly but hurts undoubtedly.

One stormy night in the North Atlantic a young sailor heard a stress call over the radio. “We are sinking …we are sinking.”!!! The young sailor from the warmth and comfort of his room calmly answered… “What are you thinking about?”!!!

There is a difference between Sinking and thinking, but in my case both are true.

“I am thinking as I am sinking.”

In the times of Galileo and Copernicus people were asked to repent under penalty of death from the crazy notion about the movement of the celestial bodies such as what we have come to know as the Geocentric and Heliocentric theory. As one was recanting to save his life, he was heard to say, “Then why does it move?”

Jesus loves me: “This I know.” Jesus does not harm, “That I also know.”

Then why does it hurt? Well…childbirth hurts! Tooth extraction hurts.

To separate the spirit from the body hurts and nothing else can be compared.

Remember Gethsemane … Jesus suffered to the point of death, all the way untill he gave up the spirit and bowed down his head and breathed his last.

I might no longer see the little signs in the forest but I see clearly the mountain of God where he died for you and me.

Your self-appointed shepherd of the poor.

Gerry Gutierrez.

PS. This picture is a week old in Tacoma.