More dark clouds are back on my blue sky.

---

 

“Oxymoron or Gospel truth?”

 

One thing you have spoken, but two things have I heard dear Lord, that you are strong, but you are also merciful.

I have come to believe things that Common sense does not believe such as:

“When I am weak, then I am strong.”
“When I lose my life is when I find it and when I find my life is when I lose it.”
“When I give is when I have it and by keeping it, I lose it.”
“When I am poor is really when I am wealthy in heaven.”

“When I have more toys when I die, I do not win.” 

“When the narrow road leads to heaven then the broad road leads to hell.
“When I was young, strong and able I was not as useful as I am now being old and

             Weak and fragile.”

Why did God wait until I am old to open my eyes?

When I was young, I was nearsighted but now that I am old and getting close to the gates of heaven, my focus is sharper on its beauty and the longing for heaven is greater so that life has grown strangely deemed at the sight of his glory.

All my life I have tried to understand prayer and now that I seem to have gotten hold of it, I do not know how to adequately speak to the King of the Kings. Even with the help of the Holy Spirit I am short of words:

“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness.” We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.” Romans 8:26.

If the Holy Spirit himself finds it hard to pray but with “Wordless Groans,”…how dare I casually speak to God as if I have just woken up from a slumber together and resume conversation in a non-existent familiarity and bad breath?

Part of getting older in the Lord is to climb mountains that you did not dare to try in the strength of the flesh. As I finish wrapping up this letter, I feel a little sorry for myself, because instead of becoming friendlier to my friends I seem to be becoming more radioactive and despicable by being confrontational with the claims of Jesus.

Thanks be to God that there is nothing like Isaiah 53 which cannot cure and make me feel one with Jesus and be comforted to the core of my being.

Gerry Gutierrez.

 

Simeon at Birth, before and after Surgery. Today is Simeon's Birthday.