Beware, this Epistle is for members only.

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“For those who are hit by the blues only.”

 

A great man of renown in a moment of vulnerability confessed to me that there is not a day when he is not deeply depressed and hit by the blues.

 

My knee-jerk reaction was to look at him in amazement, unbelief and wonder how could it be possible for a man of God to be so depressed as if the God he loved and preached was not enough. “Something is not right”, I said to myself.

 

I am a type two diabetic that is also called “emotional diabetes”. When my blood sugar is out of whack I am “hit big-time” by the blues.

 

One of the effects of Hypoglycemia is that I begin to sweat, tremble and want to cry and feel melancholic for nothing and out of the blue sky.

 

Lately the blues has hit me and I feel sorry for myself as Moses, Samson, Jeremiah, David, Jonah, Elijah almost to the point of saying like them the same things as, “it’s better for me to die than to live”. (They must have been type two diabetics also. After all the honey that Samson and David like eat. Who knows?).

 

Then I realize a wonderful fact that I saw fit to share with the “body for the common good”.

 

Once you have experienced the ultimate in your love affair with God and the matchless intimacy impossible to describe to others, you sort of become an Island unto yourself. You find out that any and every love affair under the Sun in this life is so devalued and deem in comparison with the deep, deep, love of Jesus.

 

There is nothing that should supply for the God’s size vacuum in our hearts of the longing for Jesus and the desire to go to paradise with Jesus in heaven. No one alive is good enough or lovely enough, attractive enough, satisfying enough, charismatic enough, sweet enough, precious enough than God in Jesus.

 

It is not the fault of others that is so, but it is just the fact of eternal life that when you know it in its fullness, nothings measure ups to it.

 

“Thank God for this revelation.”

 

It is not the lack of the love from God or lack of the satisfying love of God, neither is the lack of provision from God in Jesus that brings the blues in the servants of God, but the contrary is true. Nothing can be good enough anymore.

 

(I was going to say it is like my cooking that is so good that restaurant food is not good enough anymore; but I am not going to say it so I my not sound proud or arrogant. So you did not hear that from me. Ok?)

 

To understand better let me polarized a little bit to explain that the beauty of God in Jesus makes every beauty on earth to look ugly, worthless, despicable and deplorable. That is the way it should be.

 

Not that they are really that ugly, worthless, despicable and deplorable in and by themselves, but when they threaten to compete for the throne of my heart reserved for God alone, I must see them as “Anathema”.

 

The best illustration is my present situation as an empty nester and a widower. No matter how attractive my options are for the balance of my life, there is no room in the throne of my heart for anyone but Jesus.

 

When I begin to love or like anyone or anything; at the same time is born within me the seed of destruction against that possible “Idol.”

 

I confess that I am against myself when it comes to start developing new loyalties that threatens the love of my life for God in Jesus.

 

I seem to be doomed to stay alone for the rest of my life and that not for the incapacity to love but the contrary, I am prompted to love and love hard and with a possessive love.

 

What is more is that I am convinced that the furious love of God in Jesus for us is also possessive and Jealous. God does not share his glory with anyone. God does not share me with anyone.

 

Neither do I want to share my love for God with anyone so I have to dislike the things that I love the most on earth because they can potentially become idols.

Our father in heaven requires of us our “ALL”. “Hear O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one and you shall love God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength and with all your mind and you shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

 

My dispute is when my earthly allegiances including others and myself threaten to reverse the order of my loyalty toward God first.

 

This is as good of a time as any to asked your forgiveness for some of my secret intolerance to some of you in our relationship that at times must have been hard for you to understand.

 

Pardon me if I do not find you as attractive as Jesus. 


Pardon me if I walk away from you because it is not your lack of beauty but the contrary, which I cannot allow anything to distract me of the singleness of heart for my Lord Jesus. 


Pardon me if I am not honoring you with honor or double honor as you think you deserve to be honored by me.

Please forgive me because I am prompted to follow the visible servants and neglect the invisible master.


I am a follower by vocation but a leader by nature and that because of Jesus in me the hope of glory for others and myself.

 

On the other hand I am just like my ancestors, a hunter, a fisher and a collector of the supernatural and I know when I hear the voice of God, I know when I see the invisible God in disguise, I love the taste of fresh water pouring from the pulpit from anointed sermons cooked in the intimacy and comfort of the holy of holies. Pardon me if you find me hard to please but the milk of the rudiments of our faith are no longer attractive and satisfying to me since I have teeth of my own.

 

I need solid food. I need Jesus the solid food from God as my daily bread. For me there is nothing in the world but Jesus. “Give me Jesus.” I rather be a doorkeeper in the house of the Lord than to dwell elsewhere.

 

Lastly, if you still find me difficult, I must be that I remind you of you, because sometimes I find you difficult to understand also and then I remember that it take one to know another. It must be in our genes.

 

I just noticed that there is space for a commercial in this letter so let me encourage you to read “The Pilgrim’s Progress” by John Bunyan. You might have already read it. But to me, that book should be read at adulthood like a good movie that you seen as a viewer and later you see it as an actor of your own life. Bunyan has captured the mind of Jesus as few in life to the point that you will find yourself in his mind and you will have a taste of what it means to be in alignment with God and Oneness with God in Jesus our head who thinks for us.

 

Now back to the main point before you jump out of the fishing net of our Lord in this matter of “the blues”. Whenever you are “Hit by the blues”, do not go to “Insulin" as diabetics do first. Instead REMEMBER THE GARDEN OF GETHSEMANE when our Lord Jesus was “hit by the blues” when Jesus in utter loneliness and in plain view of his earthly friends he suffer in agony overwhelmed by sorrow to the point of death.

 

Prayer was his refuge but no one was found qualified to endure for one hour and keep awake in prayer with him. Jesus the traveler from heaven was alone though surrounded by friends who had no idea of the depth of his loneliness. If there was ever an hour of absolute abandonment and loneliness to the point of sweating blood and death, this was the night where Jesus was alone.

 

This was the night that Jesus by Faith Prayed and settled for the Will of God and not his own will but according the Word of God and came into alignment with God in the flesh and in Oneness with God experienced the victory “over the blues.” It was so that we at this side of the cross no longer are “Hit by the blues to the point of death and dying.”

God the Father thought he is everywhere in the universe did not speak to his son as he had not already spoken about it with him before the foundation of the world.

 

Jesus by Faith and Prayer agreed with God’s Will according God’s Word and had victory in alignment and Oneness with God so we also might have victory by Faith and Prayer agreeing with the Will and Word of God and coming into alignment with God all the way to Oneness with God where “our blues” are removed as dark clouds are removed by the winds of God’s love and grace at the memory of our Lord and master Jesus in GETHSEMANE.

 

“When you are hit by the blues”? Look unto Jesus and remember the God who has already spoken and need not to speak as if has not spoken and predestined and planed you life from the beginning.
“Faith is the victory that overcomes the world”.

 

Gerry Gutierrez.

 

PS. This is what F=PW2 is all about.

Faith is Equal to Prayer under the Will and Word of God.

The pictures are the youngest and the oldest of the Gutierrez tribe. (The upper piece of bread and lower piece of bread, the rest are bologna). Ruthie and me at the University.