To my ever faithful friends;

Just as Mary, Martha, Joana, Susana and the other women in the life and ministry of our Lord Jesus were very helpful; so was Bertha, Maruja, Adela, Judy and the other women were very helpful in my needs and ministry during my resent visit back to the Andes mountains of Peru.

In compliance of Ruthie's will I went to Huanta to spread even her ashes for the people of the Valley that we love so much. Ruthie's ashes were with me at all times in my carry on. Only the winds of the four corners of Huanta has separated us for a little while longer until I will join her soon enough in Our Father in Heaven's perfect and good time.

For five weeks we conducted Memorial Services to honor Ruthie and a small revival took place in Huanta where many people made commitments to the Lord. Though I was exhausted an extremely busy it was good to feel useful again as I preached every Sunday and met with the Political Leaders of the Country to make known the claim of our Lord Jesus.

While on the one hand I found myself feeling useful by pastoring to the most powerful men in Peru from the moment I touched down at the Airport of Lima with receptions from the top Brass of Generals in charge on the executive branch and the next day having lunch with the richest men of Peru and the same night having dinner with the Judiciary branch of the Government, that is with Supreme Court of Justice Judges and Lawyers and the following day I was with my friends of the Legislative Branch from the Congress and while we dined together I was always making the focus of every conversation the Lord's requirements for our lives as if tomorrow we will follow Ruthie into eternity.

On the other hand I find myself less and less in control of my life. More and more I find the words of Jesus to Peter true to the letter for me: "When you were young you use to go where ever you wanted to go, but when you are old you will be taken where you do not want to go". My impulsive Peter like comment to that was: "Lord, I thought when one is young needs guidance and have to do what they don't want to till they know better and when one is old one has acquired enough experience and knowledge and can be trusted to make his own decisions?

My reading on this passage now is quite different. An old servant dies doing thing that require wisdom experience and energy. The young has energy and drive but no experience or wisdom that is only obtained by time. So as much as the old servant would not like to do that task that requires youth and energy; he has to do it because there is no one qualified but the old who the Bible calls "Ancient Boundaries". It would be a false humility not to accept that we are wiser than we were before. Though we are not what we should be, thank to God's grace we are not what we use to be.

It can be said in clean conscience about those five week in Peru: "I will not be ashamed of them". I regret not to be specific of every case on this report, that is because people in high places have feet of clay and are prompt to be brought down by their enemies at any indiscretion if their lives are not perceived to be politically correct. Should curiosity or accountability gets the best of you, do not hesitate to call me and ask all you want. I give you the right to do so.

The congregation in the mountains was like sheep without a shepherd half empty and starving for the word. But for those weeks they were fed well under inspiration of our Ruthie's life and death. I had hoped that scattering Ruthie's ashes would bring my grieving process to an end; but that is not the case. I have reach height of sorrow that I did not know existed. I am afraid even forty years will not be enough. I miss my Ruthie so much that it is hard to accept that she is gone. I was hoping to wake up any time as from a bad dream. The Lord is with me more than ever before; but I still love and miss Ruthie.

There is a deep sorrow as well as great consolation. It is said that C.S.Lewis who also lost his wife found offense and pain when their friend did not ask about his wife, but in the same way found it painful to talk about his dead wife. My case is the same. If I would like to hear from you? Yes. I would love to hear from you and see you. I am experiencing contradictory feelings inconsistent with my faith. I lack focus and I daydream and forget where I am going and often getting a little off the highway. I have ruined my perfect record as I was pulled by a polite Georgia Patrol who stopped me at ten o'clock at night in a four line solitary road going 55 MPH in a 40 MPH road. He give me a 161.00 dollar ticket.

Yes!. As someone said, there are some black threads in the tapestry of my life that our Lord is weaving. At this time they do not make clear sense but at the end it will make perfect and beautiful sense. My teeth work was completed three day before I went back to Peru. I ended up visiting the dentist twice in Lima and twice in the mountains. I just visit my dentist here in Georgia and I have good news and bad news. The good news is that he has stopped all the pains. The bad news is that I need more extraction of my lower molar so I have a appointment for the six of January when the insurance can help says the doctor.

To the question of How am I? I have developed a true and standard answer: Spiritually I would like to tell that I feel like a Water Buffalo. Physically I am healthier by the day. But Emotionally I am a basket case. The book of Job has been of great value for me. The soldier within me still believes that he is having the time of his life. "He is a little prompt to the heroic". I say in a moment of bravery: I am going through the worst and through the best time of my life; that is, when I keep our Lord in mind. I am in need of prayers for excruciating pain in my soul beyond my ability to express with word of which Ruthie's absence is only part of it. One day we will all know everything from everybody.

With all my heart I ask you to pray The Lord's Prayer for me as if we would be praying together in agreement with every word of it till we mean it. We will see the wonderful answers. Your always need brother and friend who love you and prays for you.

Gerry Gutierrez

PS Please pray for several visitors that are coming from Peru in different days. They are people that I have been mentoring for many years. Pray that I may be found helpful to the missionaries in Peru according God’s will.