The supreme hours of life are the last hours.

With one hand I am holding Ruthie’s left hand and with my right hand I am writing this letter to keep in touch with you who have become my lifeline through Prayer.

Thank you so very much for you most generous and overwhelming support. I am just a missionary; a foot soldier; I was just reporting to my Sargent, Lieutenant and Captain seeking a letter of understanding and I ended up hearing from my “General Chief of Staff” of my Mission, from you my fellow soldier and also from the most powerful men on Earth in whose minds I thought I was not even a memory. This has been good for my heart.

Tonight is a perfect silent night with a soft background of Ruthie’s gentle breathing. I have decided to spend it with my God, the love of my life, and you who do the will of God and are my mother, my brothers and my sisters, and my true family in the Name.

As I occasionally feed Ruthie some water with a soupspoon I find myself opening my mouth and even swallowing my own saliva. Then I remember the last time I did that was with my last Son Caleb. At that time Caleb would eat as fast as I could feed him, but today five spoonfuls of water in Ruthie’s mouth is considered a success.

Twenty years of battling Cancer have over prepared me for this hour. Notice the Word “me”. Yes, our Lord’s Grace has prepared me for this hour. I confidently sit behind the desk of buttons and screens like our own Cape Canaveral ready on our Launching Pad for our Ruthie to go home.

As the count down is in progress there were “beeping sounds” in the room. Oh, if it would be as easy as aborting “Take off” or even better; let us stop the mission all together. But it is not as easy as that. We are beyond the point of no return.

This is the problem and fuel for your prayers. All our children are with us now and are very much under stress and frustration. There is a lot of “Monday night quarterbacking” - prompted by pure and unadulterated filial love for Mama. Since the Buck stops with me I am a broad target and I am getting hit by “friendly fire” and asking myself where are these STRONG kids coming from? I just took a look to Ruthie and only see a small delicate lady whose gray hair is going to the grave in peace. I am looking at her as if to find in that beautiful face her usual teasing smile and guessing what she would say: “They will keep you humble my love”

Please pray for this situation for which I was not prepared. You see, what happens is that just because I was doing my sit-ups; it was not their abdomen that was developing a six-pack. One cannot eat and others get strength. One cannot believe for other. One cannot repent for others. We can only fill the hearts of people by preaching but God works the Conversion of the Soul. One can only fill the empty jars as in the wedding of Canaan with water, but it is God who converts the water into wine. Evangelism is of the Lord and him alone. Discipleship is our task entrusted to us by our Lord Jesús. God himself is the greatest Evangelist of all times who is evangelizing the world through His word. Without God and his word, it not only impossible but inconceivable to Evangelize.

To end is a positive note. Let me share that the flavor of reconciliation is sweet and money cannot buy because Jesus already paid it all. Blessedly for me, there was just a lot of thunder but not lightning. Nonetheless my family is still in need of prayer. It is a well-known strategy of Satan that when he cannot hit the father, he will hit that which is close to the father’s heart.

Your prayers have built a circle around me that it is so impregnable that I am safe but I plead with you to open carefully a gate in the circle and let my Covenant Children come in; into the safety of your gracious intersection circle. May it be true for all of us; what a great godly pastor friend of mine wrote me:

My Dear Brother Gerry,

Last night one of your pastors let me know that your Ruthie is experiencing what may be the final "wasting away" of her mortal flesh in preparation of being "clothed with immortality." As the gates of heaven swing open and the chariot sent by our King thunders forth to claim his daughter (how long? We can never know for sure, but always at exactly the appointed time) I know you are standing where you have always stood, in front of your bride and family, a true knight of the Cross of Jesus bearing the Sword of the Spirit, armor greased and dirty with long battles in prayer. I know that you will stand holding the shield of faith until the last flaming arrow of the evil one is spent. You will fight the good fight of faith for your family and your marriage and your bride until no limb you have can be lifted. My brother, as you battle and long nights and grief take its toll, I want you to know: You do not battle alone.

If you cast an eye over your shoulder to the right and to the left, a host of warriors stand with you striving in prayer for your beloved Ruthie. Carrying her before the throne, claiming God's promises on her behalf and on behalf of your family, the saints from continents away are warring with you against the devices of our enemy. And at your shoulder stand godly children, sons and daughters who are at your side. The Word, which was planted in them by you, nourished by Ruthie and protected and lived out by you both, has burst from the soil and borne fruit. The fruit of the Gospel in your family is a godly heritage that now strives for their mother in thankfulness and love. But none of us strive with only our human brothers and sisters.

High above, as Ruthie's mortal body could be entering its final decline, myriads of angels block out the scorching heat of the sun. At night the lanterns of heaven shine forth on Ruthie so that the darkness is not dark in the realm of the Spirit. At the far reach of the camp, the minions of the enemy prowl, asking each other, "Who is being protected by such a great host?" And the answer comes, "We know only it is a Great One, for we cannot get close enough even to see!"

What an honor, that I know you and your family! What an honor that I have known Ruthie and even had my shirt covered in little grass "spears" in a tiny church in Peru. What an honor to add my weak prayers to the prayers of the mighty on her and your behalf.

I love you brother. If you need me, call. T.

I will withhold the name of this gladiator, because I did not ask him for permission to use it. I know him enough to say that he won’t mind. “Know the miracle but let us ignore the saint”. Letters such as these you have written one day my sons will make it public, What you have done in secret will be proclaimed in the mountain tops. Jesús said: “In secret have I done nothing.”

As you can witness, I asked for a slice of bread and your letters delivered a whole loaf of bread. Know this my friends. Ruthie does not talk much now. But I whisper your loving words to her ears and manage to snatch a nod or a smile from her gorgeous petit, lovely face.

I asked to be lifted up just above the ground so as not to get dirty with the dust of this world but your prayers have lifted me up as on the wings of eagles. Please keep praying; for prayer is the only thing that works.

I myself was touched by the words of Jesus from the cross in his last and supreme hour. “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do”. No one can say that in the midst of pain and near death… unless he was what he said to be. So doubt was born in my mind and I was persuaded to follow Jesus by his testimony on His last hour. His words made me leave a life of violence and made me follow the prince of peace. I have never regretted it by God’s grace,

Letters are being sent to the Radio Stations in the Andes and are being read several times per day to tens of thousands and are causing a revival of our Lord’s design.

May the Lord bless you richly my dear friend of mine. Remember my family and the believers on the Andes Mountains of Peru for whom Ruthie gave her life. And Nathaniel and Alicia who are about to do the same.

Gerry Gutierrez

PS. Beware my friends, you will find increasing error is spelling and grammar because Ruthie will not be there to “proof read”. Pardon my southern accent and be gracious. Thanks.