Then I prayed:

Dear Lord and Father in Heaven,

If you are going to take Ruthie, would you do it painlessly? Please!

Then I said to Ruthie:

Don’t worry Mama, it is going to be like total anesthesia and before you know it, we will be together again. She smiled!

Now, the pain has subsided and she sleeps a lot, but with a very soft smile and divine peace on her face. When she wakes up it is after a gentle kiss, it takes her 2 seconds to recognize me and smiles with a great sense of relief to see the familiar old face of her boyfriend. She confessed to being confused and she is, but not too confused to understand the reading of the scriptures, prayer or the very lovely emails from friends like you who remember to wet our parched lips with a fresh word of encouragement.

One letter was like the words of the friends of Job, clouds without rain. Most of them were like fresh dew from heaven but all of them are great and I thank you for writing “Better open rebuke than hidden love.”

Jesus to whom I belong will one day say to you personally: “When I was in need of encouragement you wrote me a note” when I was thirsty you gave me a drink.” One friend wrote: “I am crazy about my wife and I weep while I write this note to you.” Another said to his wife that he would wear a name tag so that they could find each other fast in heaven and they laughed,” –now Ruthie knows to wear a name tag.

Ruthie has made a turn for the “worst”, but the anesthesia is working just fine. Separating the spirit from the body is a very painful experience that needs anesthesia. It is said that when David Livingstone was attacked by a lion in Africa, he did not feel the brutal pain of his flesh being torn. But after his rescuers saved his life and he was being cured, he was in excruciating pain.

So Mr. Livingstone concluded that antelopes, when attacked by lions, die pain-free deaths. But when they are only wounded and escape, they heal painfully or die in the midst of pain.

In the same way as death starts its work of separating the spirit from the flesh we see something so remarkable. Our Ruthie is projecting a childlike sweetness of peace in her face. Hers is a sugar-coated experience.

All the Gutierrez’s are coming from the four corners of the earth to “help”, but little do they know that “Mama” will “help” them as a good mother does preparing her offspring for death in sweet surrender. Thank you sweet Jesus. Thank you for the anesthesia. I can testify in confidence on behalf of my Ruthie:

“Jesus is my anesthesia. “He suffered so we don’t have to suffer.” “He died so we don’t have to die.” “Ours is not Death but a twinkling of an eye.” She has charged me and blessed me and has assured me that I will do just fine without her.” She said: “Now you will have more time for your beloved Lord.” “Finish what you have to do and hurry home.”

I am holding her hands and having my fill of love “for the road”. I will hold her hands till all the children say their goodbyes. Then I will give her hands to her Groom, our Lord Jesus and rest in the conviction that she could not be in better hands. He has comforted us already. He has wiped every tear already. We are resting on his lap already.

Thank you Jesus. Thank you our Father in Heaven. Thank you.

But you, my friends, do not forget to hold my hands in prayer.

Gerry Gutierrez